Dear Lizard,
I don't want you in my life anymore. You cannot live on my shoulder, you are getting too heavy. I don't want you in my pocket either. I have to put my rings in my pocket and I don't need you getting in the way. Lizard, you are not a helpful friend, you always tell me I can't do anything. You tell me not to bother trying to better my life. You tell me "why bother". You are a bad, bad, smelly, stinky lizard and you will not dictate my life. You will not tell me what dreams to follow, you will not be the boss of my destiny. Why should I keep you around? You make me feel bad about myself. I'm telling you now, Lizard, you are evicted from my life. Bye.
It is a sad, sad day when a woman and her lizard are no longer able to cohabitate in harmony.
ReplyDeletefuck the lizard. he's bad news.
ReplyDeleteIs this a co-dependent relationship? Lizards are notoriously abusive, I've heard.
ReplyDeleteNo, he is my abuser. He sits on my shoulder casting self doubt into my head. He shows up when I'm driving to school. He says "why bother"? You aren't gonna get a job cooking, are you? Your school sucks. Your teachers suck. and on and on.
ReplyDeleteFucking lizard. I hear they make a good stir fry.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. He needs to find his scaly ass in a wok.
ReplyDeleteBe Gone evil lizard.
ReplyDelete